Mommy Gossip

Imagine this... you pull up into your driveway after a long flight and ride home from the airport. Your husband walks in the house with loads of luggage while you help the kids, gather up more stuff, talk to the neighbor boy who was kind enough to collect your mail, and finally stagger up the stairs past the mud room and into the kitchen. You are starved for sleep and with that in mind, head straight for the bed. Laundry can wait 'til the morning, right?

Wait! What is that sound? You look over and see a man who resembles your husband, facing the kitchen sink with a vacuum hose in his hand, swiping here and swiping there in an outraged and, might I say, rather obsessive manner. Are you delusional? You consider: A) Is that my husband? and B) Has he gone mad?

"What are you doing?" you ask, concerned.

"They're everywhere," he nervously laughs in an increasingly shrill tone not unlike fingers inching their way up the piano, reaching higher and more piercing octaves. All the while, giving all things that fly the ride of their lives.

You scan the area for intruders. Have aliens finally landed on earth? Is my husband interacting with them? (Swiping continues. Nervous laughing edges toward hysteria.) You draw closer. You make a slight move, and experience your first fruit fly invasion. You scream! (Not a wise move.)

"So..." you say. "This is what happens when dishes are left in the sink for 3 weeks? WITH MILK IN THEM???"

I am happy to report that with much swiping, hours of cleaning, and filling an entire garbage can full of food, our fruity friends have flown their last flight.

MORAL OF THE STORY: When you go on a trip, some things just shouldn't be postponed or put near the bottom of the list--like cleaning. More importantly, when you go on a long trip and your husband doesn't eat much produce and your fridge is full of it, you MUST throw it all away before leaving town!