Mommy Gossip

Green is definitely not my favorite color, but this week I'm seeing a lot of it and unfortunately, it isn't green as in money, but rather green as in envy. I know, I know! A cardinal sin. Shhhh! I won't tell if you don't ;)!

Troy is road tripping it across America—you know, checking out the home of the free, land of the brave as he helps move his brother and his family back to Utah. And I'm green with envy (for the road tripping part, not the moving part!). If I felt up to it, I'd Photoshop a Wicked picture of myself just to prove how green I am, but instead, let me show you why! Tell me if you could relate.

Day 1: Troy arrives in Pennsylvania.

In his witty sense of humor, Troy e-mails me: "This is a photo of Festes the mule. He and I became acquainted shortly after my arrival in Amish Country, Pennsylvania. Festes lives a simple life. Some might feel bad for him pulling a buggy all day, but he's actually the lucky one...he spends his days out front, leading the charge, first in line with nothing before him but the open road. No, don't feel bad for Festes. The one to feel bad for is the buggy driver. Because the view he sees all day is a horse's ass."

Same Day: While Troy is feeling bad for the buggy driver, Jyl is in hell at her new home in Utah. Check out this beautiful chaos.


Day 2: Troy calls Jyl from Niagra Falls? Jyl's response: "You went where without me??????? I thought you were helping your brother move. I didn't realize you were on a vacay."

Troy's e-mail accompanying this picture: "It took a lot longer than we has planned, but we finally made it to Niagra Falls. Even at night the place was crowded and we has to park several blocks away. The kids were tired but I I convinced them that they had to hurry because the water got turned off at 10:00."

Day 3: Troy arrives in Ohio. Jyl is excited to make dinner for the kids. She bought all the ingredients and took one look at her kitchen (see below), realized she had no idea where the pots and pans were, and took the kids to, where else? Wendy's! Gotta love 'em for having square hamburgers and Biggie Fries (even if they changed the name, which was seriously a huge mistake IMHO)!


Day 3: Jyl discovers you can take X-ray pictures with your iPhone and actually have them turn out good. How does she know this? Because the kids were cooped up inside from the torrential desert rain, had a pillow fight, and Chase used his arm to break his fall, breaking his radias bone in the process.

As Chase put it, "It snapped in half, just like a chocolate candy bar that you are going to share with a friend." Way to see the sweeter side of life, buddy! Here he is, hair uncombed, but faking a smile right before the Tylenol with Codeine went down. That there's the real sweet side of life!


And so I don't leave out my cute little incredible hulk who started this whole breaking bit. Who says knock off Crocs suck? Oh! Wait! I do. George Smith, Jr.: Please, oh! please!, hook us up. Who makes these things??? I caught Connor picking IH's nose while in the doc's office. SERIOUSLY???


How are your road trips going this summer?